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Five Tips For Sending The First Online Dating Message

Sending the first message to someone who you’re interested in is probably the hardest part of online dating – and it’s the bit that people mess up the most often. These five simple tips should help you with that initial hurdle, and if you follow them you’ll find that you start getting replies far more often than you may have been up to this point.

1. Talk About Them, Not You

Obviously, they’ll want to know about you if they’re interested – but you want to let them be the ones to do the asking. In your first message, talk about the parts of their profile that caught your eye and mention the things on it that the two of you have in common. You want to let them know that you’re genuinely interested in them as a person.

2. Don’t Sexualise It Too Early

Ideally, you want to make sure that there’s nothing overtly sexual in your first messages at all. There’s no harm in telling someone that you think they’re gorgeous – but for goodness’ sake please leave the discussion of what you’d like to do to them for a time when you know it’s welcome. Women especially get a lot of messages like that, and they’re never a good way to start a conversation.

3. Wait Before Arranging A Date

There’s no need to become the best of internet friends before you meet someone in real life, but you do want to exchange a few messages with them at least before you take the plunge. Don’t start off by trying to organise something in your first contact; it makes you look pushy.

4. Never Cut And Paste

People know when you’re sending them a message you’ve sent to other people as well. Make sure everything is fresh and personal for every person you try and make contact with and you’ll get far more replies out of it.

5. Don’t Be Offended If They Don’t Reply

People on dating websites often receive hundreds of messages – and for some women there are a couple of dozen every single day. Don’t take it personally if yours doesn’t get a reply, and never message them back upset or angry about it. By doing that, you’re making it even less likely that they’ll want to talk to you.

If you follow these five tips, make sure your messages are direct and polite, and don’t let yourself be disheartened by someone who doesn’t reply, you’re bound to get somewhere in the end. It might take a while, but it’s worth it when it happens.